A Christmas Cottage

by P. B. D.ickens

A splash of camp, a dash of frisson, an orphaned go-go boy, a high heel spotted beneath a cubicle door, a light bulb that flickers, a note passed tightly wound around a trembling pencil inviting you to the Christmas party of the century staged in one mega immersive installashion by your faves A Man to Pet and Tony Hornecker!

Scroll down for the menu.... Keep an eye on your inbox or Facebook for any cancellations.

The Pale Blue Door presents our annual Christmas Panto: A Christmas Cottage

Its Christmas, as usual, but unlike you’ve ever experienced before, unless you’ve had it behind one of our Pale Blue Doors!

New Venue. Same Fabulous Fun.


(list of offerings scrawled on back of door in black felt tip from which to choose your actual preferences)

Amuse-Douche A Man To Pet (0745187655 avail can accom dom)

Peas Sir More Salad w/ Sugar Snaps, Beetroot, Cranberry and Goat Cheese (served daily on way from school in uniform)

  • SpitRoasted Rare Beef w/ she’s Portly Peppercorn Sauce (200 grams or 6 inches)
  • Muscletard Mustard Mash (looked better in pics)
  • Bruised Purple Cabbage w/ Spiced Pineapple and Hot Pink Ladies (on hen do)

KnickerFuckerGloryHole lashed by Sherry-l Blow (on way home from pub)

£55 per head with half a bottle of wine per person.
£65 per head with Gin and Tonic and full bottle per person.
Vegan and Vegetarian options available, please enquire.

Full payment upon booking.

Dates & Bookings

Book now! Email [email protected] specifying your chosen date and time (7.15pm or 7.30pm arrival).

Also! We're open to discussion for some lunch parties of 25 or more guests — do drop us a line to enquire.

Don't miss out

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P.S. If you're hankering after some shenanigans with just you and your mates, you can hire The Hornecker Centre and we'll accommodate your every whim. Well, almost!!! But ask us anyway, and we'll see what we can do! More details can be found here....


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