A Christmas Cottage

by P. B. D.ickens

A splash of camp, a dash of frisson, an orphaned go-go boy, a high heel spotted beneath a cubicle door, a light bulb that flickers, a note passed tightly wound around a trembling pencil inviting you to the Christmas party of the century staged in one mega immersive installashion by your faves A Man to Pet and Tony Hornecker!

Scroll down for the menu (brunch or dinner) & availability (last few tickets!) and keep an eye on your inbox or Facebook for any cancellations.

The Pale Blue Door presents our annual Christmas Panto: A Christmas Cottage

It's Christmas, as usual, but unlike you’ve ever experienced before, unless you’ve had it behind one of our Pale Blue Doors!

New Venue. Same Fabulous Fun.


(list of offerings scrawled on back of door in black felt tip from which to choose your actual preferences)

Amuse-Douche A Man To Pet (0745187655 avail can accom dom)

Peas Sir More Salad w/ Sugar Snaps, Beetroot, Cranberry and Goat Cheese (served daily on way from school in uniform)

  • SpitRoasted Rare Beef w/ she’s Portly Peppercorn Sauce (200 grams or 6 inches)
  • Muscletard Mustard Mash (looked better in pics)
  • Bruised Purple Cabbage w/ Spiced Pineapple and Hot Pink Ladies (on hen do)

KnickerFuckerGloryHole lashed by Sherry-l Blow (on way home from pub)

Vegan and Vegetarian options available, please enquire.

Dates & Bookings

Choose either dinner or brunch!

Evening dinners, Tuesdays to Saturdays:
£55 per head with half a bottle of wine per person.
£65 per head with Gin and Tonic and full bottle per person.
Book now! Email [email protected] specifying your chosen date and time (7.15pm or 7.30pm arrival). Full payment upon booking.

  • Thursday 5th December - Sold out!
  • Friday 6th December - Sold out!
  • Saturday 7th December - Sold out!
  • Wednesday 11th December - Sold out!
  • Thursday 12th December - Last few tickets! Enquire
  • Friday 13th December - Sold out!
  • Saturday 14th December - Sold out!
  • Tuesday 17th December - Sold out!
  • Wednesday 18th December - Sold out!
  • Thursday 19th December - Sold out!
  • Friday 20th December - Sold out!
  • Saturday 21st December - Sold out!

2pm brunches on Sundays:
Bottom’s Brunch, Unlimited Tops! Free Prosecco!
£60 per head with as much Prosecco as you can nuzzle.
Book now! Email [email protected] specifying your chosen date and time (1.45pm or 2pm arrival). Full payment upon booking.

  • Sunday 8th December -Enquire
  • Sunday 15th December - Sold out!
  • Sunday 22nd December - Enquire

Also! We're open to discussion for some lunch parties of 25 or more guests — do drop us a line to enquire.

Don't miss out

Join the Pale Blue Door mailing list:

P.S. If you're hankering after some shenanigans with just you and your mates, you can hire The Hornecker Centre and we'll accommodate your every whim. Well, almost!!! But ask us anyway, and we'll see what we can do! More details can be found here....


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